16# Frog Poison Ceremony, Money Blocks to £1M in Sales & Sexism: A Raw Q&A with Sharn interviewed by Her Healer Kam

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She's also my healer. She's just absolutely incredible. And I thought it'd be really fun to bring her on. She's obviously had her own episode on the podcast, but today she's actually going to interview me, which I thought would be Interesting for you guys to listen to. So

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Thank you so much for having me, Sean. I was literally saying before these cameras started rolling, I cannot wait to ask you some questions. So should we just go straight into it? Let's do it. Perfect. So first thing I wanted to. ask you is when did you realize that you wanted to branch out into being a mentor for Asian women?

I mean, was it a defining moment? Was it a series of realizations or gut feelings that you just took action on? Like, how did that happen?

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I just set up the group, Asian Female Entrepreneur Collective. And honestly, I just thought, you know what, I'm going to set this group up. It'll be good for me to network with other Asian women. And mainly it was for my business, wedding planning business. And I. I remember being absolutely petrified to start up this group because I was so scared.

I was like, is anyone going to join? Is anyone going to like the posts? Is anyone going to post in there? Like, I was just completely scared. And then I remember one of my mentors at the time was like, you know, just start it. It's fine. And someone else said to me, Oh, you know, just start it. And you know, I'll like your posts.

Like this is how ridiculous it was back then. And I had no intention of being a business and mindset mentor, like, literally zero. I didn't even know that was a thing. And because my wedding planning business at the time was like quite taking off, I'd been on like the BBC breakfast show. I was booking destination weddings.

People started to ask me, Oh, can you do like a workshop on marketing? And because my corporate work was marketing and because I had so much experience in the marketing world, I just thought, actually, you know what? I can actually do a workshop on marketing. Cause I, I live and breathe it in my brand and I've got all this experience.

put on the first workshop in: 2017

So I waited and then I think it was the following year where everyone was like people coming to me for coaching for mentoring. And I put out my first mastermind the following year, the first year after my workshop. And that mastermind had You know, it was the first, like, no one had done anything like this, especially for Asian women.

And it had like, I think 13 or 14 people booked on. That's amazing. And I didn't really have high expectations of that mastermind. It was quite a low cost. You were in it, Kam. I was going to tell you it was a great mastermind. And I just thought, I thought I was going to just share my strategies, do Q and A's and kind of that was going to be it.

Yeah. you know, I didn't have any kind of grand promises from it. And what actually transpired was literally everyone's getting such amazing results. Like you remember the group was buzzing, there's so many lives and people saying, Oh my God, like, I did this, I did that, I did this, I did that and it was just honestly,

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[00:04:02] Sharn: It was going so well, so much so that after the three months, Mm. I put out an invitation to say it's actually extending on for three months, who would like to join? I think most people said yes. Yeah. I think maybe two or three people said no, which was fine. And then I think what I realized was I was just not enjoying the wedding planning as much.

And like, if I thought about, you know, I get my clients to do the ideal dream day exercise. If I thought about my ideal day or my dream day, it was all consumed with the AFEC brand, which is obviously the coaching and mentoring brand now, as opposed to the wedding planning.

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And then it just kind of like grew its own consciousness and you worked with it to actually bring this vision into life, which leads me really nicely onto our next question. Can you share the story behind the creation of Asian Female Entrepreneur Collective and its mission? Because, you know, one thing with working, working with you, like you are.

such an uplifter, you've just got really high energy and like you, you love lifting people up around you. So I really want to hear.

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Yeah. there's still work to be done for sure. And I think that's the big mission about it. But I think also for me, there is obviously there's this perception that Asian women are bitchy or Asian women are nasty. And that can sometimes be true, but in my brand, what I really try and do, and I think if you've been in any of my programs or been coached by me or been at my events, yes, you know, that I do not entertain.

bitchy Asian women vibes. I just feel like, you know, the world's a hard enough place as it is, we just don't need it. And I, I really try and break away from that stereo stereotype and those cultural types that we have. And that's really important to me because that's When Asian women come together, there is so much power in coming together and speaking about our struggles, speaking about our challenges and our problems, because it's a shared experience.

A white person isn't going to understand that. A white woman is not going to understand that. There is power in us coming together. That's how we heal. That's how we understand that. That's how we evolve. And that's what's really important for me. And for me to continue my mission, I cannot entertain bitchy Asian women

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Yeah, absolutely. You know, everything that I've been to is such high. Five. It's always so fun. And like, you know, you get women there who are ready to up level and grow. And I just absolutely love your space. So thank you so much for answering that question. And what I want to ask you next is what are some of the unique challenges Asian female entrepreneurs face in today's business landscape?

Such a great question. Thank you. So I think

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Like, I remember as a child, everything was a struggle. My parents couldn't speak that much English. I had a brother with learning difficulties. Things were struggles. You know, life was a struggle and problems were there, challenges were there. And I think somewhere along the line, We have got used to and conditioned for everything to be a struggle and everything to be hard and everything to just be really, really tough.

And in this day and age where we've got the internet, we've got Amazon, we've got YouTube, we've got Google, things don't have to be a struggle anymore. Yeah. And I think sometimes things can be a struggle. Of course things can be a struggle when you're first starting your business or you're trying to reach the next stage in your business.

But the struggle doesn't need to be our identity. Yeah, you're so right. And I think that that is a big one for Asian women to let go of because they've been conditioned to struggle. And I think sometimes Asian women make things harder for themselves. So for me, that manifested as Not expanding my team, even though I had the budget.

It's like, well, why am I not expanding this team? Like, why am I just doing admin stuff that I don't need to be doing? And it was because I was stuck in this struggle identity. It is an identity. It is a part of you. And, you know, your ego or the subconscious mind will do anything to keep you in that identity because it's safe and it's familiar and it's what you know.

So I think that that is a big one. I think visibility is still a massive one. Yes. The fear of being seen, you know, like we all grew up. I definitely did. Like when my mum be like, look, Kiki come here. Exactly. Me too.

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[00:09:47] Sharn: culture, 100 percent and it's getting to a point now where I actually do want to share some other stuff on social media, but what's holding me back is.

You know, my cousins are on social media and they already think what is going on with Chan, but,I'm just like, that is, that is a conditioned belief. And I think the fear of being seen and heard. It's a big one. And I think that all feeds into judgment. Ultimately, we are scared of being judged. But actually, if we dig deeper into that, we are actually judging ourselves.

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[00:10:30] Sharn: Yeah. And I think that, I think what we really need to look at as Asian women is where we keep judging others. And this came up actually in one of my coaching sessions last week when one of my clients was like, I just keep judging people and I keep, keep judging.

Like I'm just literally constantly judging. Like, why is that? And I said, it's probably those people that you judge maybe because they've got more social media followers, maybe because they're more confident or maybe they've got thriving relationships or, you know, you deem them to be pretty or whatever that looks like.

The thing actually that you're judging them is probably the thing that you also want the most.

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[00:11:09] Sharn: really, really deep. And I think that we should let our judgments not be judgments, but we should invite, you know, that part of us to heal in that judgment. Yeah. You've got an opportunity there, haven't you?

To shine a light and just to think, okay, why am I judging this person? And what, what do I want from this judgment? Cause I can guarantee you you're judging someone because you actually want the thing that you're judging them for.

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[00:11:42] Sharn: inspiration.

I think that's so important, like, rather than being jealous or envious of someone because of the way they are, the way they portray themselves or the things that are happening for them in their life. You know, take that as inspiration. Like what's possible for one Asian woman is possible for another Asian woman.

And I think if we can just use that as inspiration rather than judgment, that's going to be just so much more powerful for sure.

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And, you know, you know, I'm always sort of like, Oh my God, well done, Sian, amazing. And like a lot of us do because exactly what you say, you know, seeing you do something like, um, means that it kind of makes it more possible for us, you know, so that inspiring energy, it's contagious. So yeah, thank you so much for that.

And I just wanted to ask you, Sean, what advice would you give to aspiring Asian female entrepreneurs who were just starting their journey?

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So I think that if you believe and perceive yourself as someone who is on the journey to success, who is a work in progress, who is, you know, building her business. I think that's what will manifest. If you believe that you're the CEO of your company, you will become the CEO of your company. Like I remember when I first started my wedding planning business, I literally had one client that was like, I don't know, like worth maybe like a thousand pounds, which is, you know, decent money, but not that much in the wedding world.

And I just remember, Acting like a CEO even had that one client. So it was things like getting up early, like having discipline, creating a little office for myself. Beautiful. When my mum would ring during the day, I'd be like, okay, mum, like I'm working. And it was almost like embodying that CEO energy even before the clients were in my reality.

And I think that's really important because I think a lot of Asian women, they like play small and they say, Oh, they've just got a small business or, you know, hate that word, small business. Like it's, it shouldn't be that light. And I think that It's really, really important to really believe and perceive yourself as successful before you are.

Because success, honestly, like having achieved like success, whatever that looks like, I'm doing like inverted commas, but it's like, Success is just, success depends on who you are.

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[00:14:37] Sharn: for some people, like my success now is, you know, I want to get to a point where I'm working less, I'm having more impact, like the activities I'm doing are more wide ranging which are having an impact.

That's success to me. Like success to me isn't, a million followers.

Yeah.

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So true. So I think that's really, really important. And,Lost my train of thought. What was the question?

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[00:15:32] Sharn: go.

Yeah. And I also think like, don't be scared to invest in yourself. That's like a really big one. I think we have a question on that later. So I'll go into that. And I think the other thing is like, show up for your dreams and don't wait. Yeah. Because if you think about it, right, like even from COVID, even from when I started my wedding planning business, like, which was, Oh my God, like nearly a decade ago, which was wild.

Like so much has changed. So much has changed. Like when I first started my wedding planning business, blogging was a big thing. Facebook obviously still I get quite a bit of business for Facebook. Facebook was a thing. There's no TikTok. There was not really Instagram. Now, even if you look at like from lockdown days to now, TikTok is rising.

d I think that I'm so glad in: 2015

And I was like, I literally spent that summer working in my kitchen. I remember like dad was at work. I was kind of. getting to grips with like new married life and all of that. And I just did it because I knew how important it was to launch in September because it was peak inquiry season. Had I'd waited another year

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[00:16:58] Sharn: waited until to get some more experience or waited until I'd done some more weddings or whatever, then I'd be behind.

I mean, I don't really believe I'm behind, but still like I would be one or two years. And then that, that then basically led onto the coaching business. And had I not put my first workshop out there, not done my first mastermind, just been scared because these things compound. Right. Got you. So you, you get to decide your timeline and you get to decide how quick you want to go.

And I would just say, jump before you're ready, because you're never going to, you know, if you're waiting for this magical feeling of being ready. Yes. I have news for you, everyone. It's not coming. It's not happening. It's not, you won't all of a sudden one day, like even with this podcast, I still don't feel ready to launch it.

It's going to be launching soon. But there's not going to be a day that arrives that when I say, actually, you know what, I'm ready to launch this podcast now. Because that, that feeling of being ready is actually a real illusion. And I think people confuse that with, Oh, when I feel ready, then I'll do the thing.

But in entrepreneurship, you have to do things before way before you're ready. So true. Because if you keep waiting for ready, if you keep waiting for the money, if you keep waiting for the clients, the opportunities, You're just, you're just

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It's amazing. What I was hearing is, focus on your mindset, be a CEO from day dot, main character energy. and do things before you're ready. Yeah. So powerful. Thank you for those top tips. They are golden nuggets. Like people are going to love this and they can just take it away and do these things. Write them down.

1, You're good to go. So Thank you for that, Sian. I want to ask you now, like, you are the queen of mindset. You know, you just, it's just amazing how you come across a block and you work on it until it's not a block. It's just a stepping stone. So I want to ask you a few things now about that, because You know, your capacity to get over any mindset block you're experiencing just, is just amazing and it boggles me.

So I have a few questions for you around that. So firstly, I want to ask you to share a personal experience where you uncovered and addressed a negative belief that was holding you back. Oh my God, where do I start Cam?

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there's like, honestly, so many, I think originally when I started my wedding planning business, I think the biggest beliefs I ever overcame was my money beliefs because I think I've shared this story before, but when I launched my wedding planning business, I did a Christmas corporate party with another company.

They like freelanced me and for the whole of December. I worked for a grand total of 250. So that's where my self worth was, that's where my money beliefs were, that's where my money mindset was. I just thought I was worthy of 250 for like, I don't know, 80 90 hours worth of work. Wow. And I remember going into Christmas that year, the first year actually, the first married year.

Yeah. And just literally, I remember it was like 13th or 14th, and I literally was like, crash burning. And then I just thought, and the lady at the time said to me, and she was Asian, I think she maybe, I don't know what, why she said this to me, and Dav always reminds me of this. She said to me, oh, you know, You'll get to my level in like 10 years time and I was like, wow, like, what is she talking about?

And I remember I had such poor boundaries cam like she would ring me. Yeah, like 9 o'clock at night 9 30 10 o'clock for like an hour just to talk about the event or just sometimes to just offload or and I would just answer I was literally ans I used to do this with brides, I used to answer the phone at 9 o'clock, be constantly available, and what I realized is boundaries and money.

equals capacity. And what I realized was because of my own self worth and lack of confidence, lack of self belief, lack of poor boundaries, that was reflecting in how much I was charging, what was I accepting, the standards I was accepting. So then the following, like, I think maybe, yeah, the following year, like three or four months later, I started really to do my money mindset work.

Yeah. and this is something that I teach my clients as well. I think it's something you're very famous for. I try not to claim it, but I will be this year because I do believe I am the Asian money mindset queen only because I have literally gone from being in my overdraft for over a decade to where I am now.

And I think that a big part of that was really challenging my money beliefs. And my money beliefs came from my parents. My dad was always great with money, whereas my mom was honestly like an overspender, just an over giver, like giving family members money. like, you know, never really having that much money, never saving money.

I had definitely picked that up. And what I had to do was actually, it's really ironic, actually, because how that all came about was, even though I had no money at the time, I was, I then realized, okay, my business isn't doing as well as I thought it would be because I thought, Oh my God, I've had a blog for 18 months.

It's done so well. My, my wedding planning business is going to fly, but it wasn't flying. So I had to get a job, the last job I ever got, which was a marketing for Argos and basically I started getting my money from my wages, which wasn't loads, and then putting it back into my brand. Oh, this is

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This is amazing. I'm so excited because my next question is coming. So I think

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It's transformational if people choose to do the work. And I think You know, I think mo money and your self-belief and self-esteem are three beliefs that are so, that, well, three elements that are so connected. And I think that's been my biggest,

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Just inspires me to do the same. And, you know, everyone listening will feel the same. And like the fact that you have, you know, put that, into, perspective, you know, self esteem and like abundance, how much you're able to receive or you're not, that's really, really powerful. And I think that would have really, really moved everything for you, which is going to segue perfectly into the next question, Sharn, because I know that from this money that you had from this job, like, you know, speaking to you, reading your posts voraciously, that I know that some of this money that you had, you took to hire a mentor.

Now, I wanted to ask you, could you please talk a bit? about the role mentors or peers have played in helping you to shift and elevate your mindset. Oh my God. Honestly,

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Most successful people out there like your Stephen Bartlett, you know, the big people that you're probably anyone's following, they all actually have mentors. And I don't see it as this kind of like, Oh, well, why don't you know, why don't you, why do you have a mentor? Don't you like know everything? No, I don't.

pounds. This is back in: 2016

[00:25:42] Kam: Yeah.

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And I just thought, you know what? Like, If I don't get this mentor now, then I'm going to be in the same position like this time next year. Yes. Or like two years time. And I remember the mentor. She's so sweet. She was like a wedding planner, British one. And she did actually say to me, look, like this mentoring for three months, it's not going to be like, it's not going to be overnight success.

Yeah. But because I think like I invested in myself and I got the, some of the strategies from her. Yes. like literally a month, I think that same month or a month later, I booked my first like high end London client. And that is amazing because SHarn what you don't know, you don't know, right? Yeah. And then, and then she, I mentored with her for three months and then I think I had a bit of a break and then the, then I think I was on, yeah, so I had a bit of a break for about a year maybe, but I was still investing in courses, still like investing in my brand.

And then: 2018

And. that she was amazing because she taught me certain strategies to use and they still work. and you know, that was what I worked with her six months, 6, 000 pounds. I've made that money. God, like, like 10 times over. Yeah. And then, And then after that I had another mentor who was more of a mindset coach, and her fees were 1500 per month.

for eight months? Yes, it was: 1500

And I didn't have much. money from that property because I reinvested it, not into my business, into something else. And I just had, I was thinking, okay, a lot, a little bit of savings just in case, like, and then lo and behold, what happened? Like that year, I think I hit my first six figures. She again, taught me things like pushed me, challenged me, like, and then I think that year I signed a wedding planning client close to like 10 K.

It's amazing. And It, it's just been evolving. I've had a coach this year for literally finishing up tomorrow's sad times. but I've invested a lot of healing. Obviously we've done healing work together. Yeah. Like I just think, honestly, this is why I'm a mentor and coach because I honestly think you can't do it on your own.

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[00:28:45] Sharn: Because you, especially with Asian women, we all do come across blocks. Yes. We have visibility blocks. We have so much Working against us. Yeah. And entrepreneurship is lonely. Yes. And now I love it that I like, you know, my one to one clients, they have Voxer access to me. So if they're struggling with something, they can just Voxer me or they have calls with me every two weeks for 45 minutes.

Yeah. And like the same way, you know, they, they see such a huge difference and the same with my coach, I can Voxer her. We have calls. And it's honestly, this year for me, coaching has been So amazing. Like I finally found another because I didn't have a coach last year and I really felt the difference. I had a lot of therapy, which I'm a big advocate for therapy.

But I think coaching is so special because it's action orientated. And I think it's great to go over the past, to process, to heal. But I think for me, coaching works better Yeah. because

[: 00:29:42

And you know how I like to look at it is, you know, you are, you don't know what you don't know. You are putting more options to yourself. You're bringing in more options, more ways to do things, which is like essentially going to cut down the time to get to where you want to and your goals. And, and I'm talking like, you know, your, your goals of what you want to do and also financial goals.

Like I've certainly found that to be true.

[: 00:30:21

Yeah. And I had that idea for about a year now. Yeah. And it was a little bit scary launching it. But I remember, like, my coach, like, really supported me in, like, getting it launched. Now it just feels like, you know, second nature. Like we are only like a month in. I have so many incredible things planned, but it's just having that sounding board because this, that advice of business, a certified business and mindset coach will give you is based on you getting results.

It's not the same advice as your friend or your husband or your partner, because they, they, there's certain things that they might like want you to be. And you know, that's really, really. It's really important to have a coach.

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Husbands and friends cheerlead, but perhaps don't know the full story in your business. That's really powerful. Thank you so much. Right. I have so many more questions to ask you on that. I think we've literally got about five minutes. But I think literally five minutes. We may need a part two. So we are going to go straight into something I've been So, so interested to ask you, like, I've been wanting to ask you this for ages.

Have you encountered any cultural stereotypes or expectations in your journey as a female entrepreneur and how have you navigated those?

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[00:32:38] Kam: I was just about to say representation matters in everything, doesn't it, Sean?

[: 00:32:43

But recently everyone seems to have forgotten that. And if you look at like podcasts, like, I mean, even like the top podcast or podcasts in general, like, They have very few women of color and like Asian women and black women. So I think that's like really frustrating. But if I think about cultural stereotypes, I think when I worked in the wedding industry, it is a very, very sexist industry.

Really? I found that. And it depends because if I was planning the wedding and I'd brought on the suppliers, then it was different. Okay. So it was, it'd be fine. Like, Obviously the suppliers, I gave them business and they'd be really grateful to be there. Yes. But then at the same time, if I was coordinating a wedding and like, you know, the majority of the suppliers were men, they don't take a woman seriously, but this was a while ago.

So I feel like it's probably changed now because I do think women are becoming more powerful. Yes. But I think that for me at that time, the way I had to challenge that was you just have to be professional. Yeah. Absolutely. Yeah. And you just have to be, you kind of have to set, set down the law as well.

And then I would have to like talk to the client and say, look, can you let them know that like, they need to take instructions of me? Like you need to communicate with them. You

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[00:34:13] Sharn: Yes, I had to because some of them, they just don't listen. Like I remember I did this wedding once and the DJ just didn't listen about the sound and the decibels.

And then what happened? He didn't listen. You know, the bride and groom thought it was all going to be fine, and then the music cut out because he didn't listen, and that is awful because he didn't listen, probably because I was a woman, and then it got to a point where I had to, I think I started putting in contracts, like, we can't, we can't take any responsibility for your third party suppliers.

Yes. And I think that with those types, because you know, like in our culture, like luckily my husband's not like that at all. But you know, there's these like backward Asian, sorry, I'm just going to say backward Asian families that literally don't listen to the woman. The woman's like a second class citizen.

They have no voice and the men think they're better than the women and the men have more power. Yeah. And I definitely saw that dynamic in the wedding industry. I think it's probably changed so much now. Yeah. But that was, I definitely found the wedding industry sexist. So you got

[: 00:35:19

Yes. Thank you. And I just want to ask you here, what is the one cultural block that you had the biggest biggest issue with, and how did you overcome it, Sian? I know there's loads, but

[: 00:35:37

I've had PCOS, I've had underactive thyroid. And I think like, Health is an area that I've really struggled with. there's been times where I've thrived with my health, like really thrived. Like last year, I remember being my fittest, but then I got hospitalized. And this year there's been a bit of a few challenges with my health.

So I think that has definitely played into like me showing up fully because I'm like, Oh no, my weight's fluctuated or, you know, things like that. And I know that sounds really shallow and sad, but I think, you know, That's something I know I've been given by God in the universe to work through, like I know I'm gonna work through this block around my health, around the health challenges, around the way, you know, my weight fluctuates.

I know I'm gonna get there, there's gonna be a breakthrough, but I think that has been a big block of mine, because I think, again, in our culture, we've been fucking, excuse my language, we've been conditioned to be slim, we've been conditioned to be tall, conditioned to be, you know. fair, the standard beauty, standard beauty standard is all those things.

And when we don't meet those requirements, what does that mean for us? Does we, does it mean that we're not beautiful? And I think also with the social media side of things, there's such a pressure now. I mean, I don't, you know, sometimes I'll just stir up on stories, but there's that, you know, people are literally doing their makeup, like, like they've gone to a makeup artist.

absolutely. And I think I, I think that's been something that I have a little bit been struggling with, like more around like my weight issues, I must say, but I know that the reason why I've got this challenge is because like years to come, I'll be sharing the story and being like, this is how I overcame this.

And I think God wouldn't have given me this challenge if they didn't think I could work through it. So I won't share too much around it just yet,

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[00:37:39] Sharn: It's something that I'm working through, so watch this,

[: 00:37:42

I know. So I totally understand that that has been a cultural block for you. I can really, really We've all been there. And also there's just no filter.

[: 00:38:03

Cause on my dad's side of the family. Bless them. They are unhealthy, they are in bigger bodies, and I don't think that they should be that unhealthy. Mm-Hmm. So, I, I don't wanna repeat that pattern. Mm-Hmm. But at the same time, weight is such a big talking point for all of them. Huge issue , like they're always discussing people's weight.

Yeah. You know, pe family members put on weight, they're like, oh, so and so put on weight. Yeah. So and so and so did this. So and so's lost so much weight. Whereas that side of the family. Yeah. that no one talks. It's not a thing. It's not a thing. People don't talk about people's weight. Yeah. And I think that actually in our generation, especially my generation has really fed into a lot of blocks.

Asian women have around being seen and being heard because it feeds into the way we're perceived. and potentially our weight, which is sad. So powerful,

[: 00:39:09

Quick fire round. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. Sian, I want to ask you a few fun questions now. I had loads planned, but maybe there's a part two. I think I've said part two. twice now, so I hope there's going to be a part two. But what's the best Bollywood movie or series you've seen to date and why? Okay, for this, I

[: 00:39:42

I hope that's okay. That's fine. Chunky La and everyone will be like, Oh my God, why? I want to watch that. Jamgeela is incredible. It's about this amazing singer who got shot in the eighties at the height of his career because he was singing like, just quote unquote, dirty songs. I love this film because the way it's been directed.

It feels like you're in: 1980

And just him. He's like an incredible singer, so I absolutely loved that film and the way it was shot, and it's just so, it feels like you are in Punjab. The other film I really loved, and this might be, again, controversial, is, Animal. Okay! Because I know it's quite misogynistic, um, and, You know, violent.

But I love, I love the way Rumbi Kapoor and Anil Kapoor's relationships been played in that film that obviously, father and son, but they have a very fractured relationship. And it actually shows the impact long term. Wow. What can happen on a person if you do not get that love in childhood, if you don't have a great relationship with your dad, if your dad isn't around and constantly working and it was a very, very interesting film.

So Um, I didn't like it for the violence. I liked it for the emotional side of things because I don't think, again, in our culture, a lot of our, you know, brother, brothers, husbands, partners, cousins, they didn't have that close relationship with their dad. You know, Asian, Asian parents in general weren't very emotional with us.

They, I never got hugged. I never got kissed, you know, sometimes we weren't seen. And I think that does have a long term impact on some of us. So, I, I love that

[: 00:41:52

Oh my God, this is such

[: 00:42:08

I did it with a contemporary practitioner in our house. Next time I would prefer it to be in my own house or in like a kind of a high luxe place. Yeah. A vibey place. It was just at someone's house. Yes. but honestly, like, it was wild. Like, as soon as you have it, you are literally, you feel like you are dying.

We need to talk about this later. Literally, I felt like I was potentially gonna die. I didn't tell Dav, I only told him when I got back. But the weirdest thing was, a few, a few days before that Can Bay ceremony, in our house, in our old house, like I randomly woke up, went to the kitchen, and there was a frog in our kitchen.

There was a frog in your kitchen. Yeah, so Cambo was obviously the frog, Amazonian frog poison. Wow. And I just thought that was a sign for me to do it. And they were in your kitchen, the frog was in your kitchen. Like a few days before. So I saw it as a sign that I should do it. 100%. I wasn't sure, I was like thinking, is this a sign not to do it?

Or is this a sign to do it? But we've never had frogs in our house before. That's amazing. It was just one massive, it was quite a big frog. Yeah. I don't know how it got into our kitchen. Wow. And it was like, it was end of September. Yeah. So it's quite chilly. And I don't think that is like the season of frogs.

I think maybe it's the summer.

[: 00:43:54

[00:43:55] Sharn: But that was, That was pretty wild.

[: 00:43:57

It's like, I'm so looking forward to the answer to this question.

[: 00:44:20

[00:44:28] Kam: Yeah.

[: 00:44:29

But I remember a few weeks ago, like me and Taff were at dinner and like, we were talking about like death and we were talking about Like we should make the most of life and literally we tend to have a lot of conversations around life and death. Like this is what we talk about, how we should live our life and you know what happens after death and all of these things.

And then it was really, obviously really awful. and I've never seen this in my life, but basically we are in a restaurant central Oxford and you could see outside cause it was a glass window. Okay. And then dad was literally like, Oh, someone's like collapsed out there. And I was like, okay, like, what do you mean?

And then literally I turned around cam and this woman was doing CPR on this man.

[: 00:45:20

[00:45:21] Sharn: And like, it was really awful. Like the ambulance came, the police came. They started, I've never seen this in England before when they start putting sheets around. Oh wow. And then put the, then they eventually covered the restaurant windows.

So we couldn't see. Yes. But I knew they would go for C, because with CPR, they go for like a long time, like 30, 40 minutes. Yeah. But I've got a feeling that that person did pass and, and then it was really weird, like, it was like a really weird energy, like, I kind of, not like I felt it, but it was weird that we were there at that time and we had to see that.

And then I remember like, just feeling really like sad.

[: 00:46:01

[00:46:01] Sharn: And then I remember walking past this bookshop in Oxford because we were like, okay, let's just go and get an ice cream, like lighten the mood.

[: 00:46:07

[00:46:08] Sharn: then the book, I saw a book in the, in the windowsill, which said something like something around death and life.

It was

[: 00:46:16

That's so sad. So sad. And then I remember literally go walking up to the ice cream shop and I saw this guy and if anyone's ever read like The Alchemist, it's a great book, highly recommend it. But there was this random guy there. I don't think he was drunk. It's But he, like, looked at me and he just, like, smiled and really firmly, like, nodded.

Right. Oh my god,

[: 00:47:01

[00:47:03] Sharn: I was, like, that was, like, on the way there. I didn't really think anything of it. And then he did the same when we left. And he wasn't doing it to anyone else, it was just me. So I was thinking like, this is really fucking weird. And I was thinking, what is, what is less than here?

And I've come up with some conclusions, which I'll share on another podcast. But that was a weird experience. Very weird. It's like it all kind of connected. It was obviously something Something is trying to share something with me, like live your life, or live life to the fullest, or you don't know how many days you've got, or something.

But it all kind of in connect, and I felt very, very weird after that experience. Wow, I

[: 00:47:41

But all I wanted to say for right now is thank you so much for being such a good sport, answering my questions and I'm just saying, I've got two more pages for you, so I hope there's going to be a part two. There, I said it three times. Thank you so much, Sian. Aw, thank you so much,

[: 00:48:15

Thank you so much for being incredible, you know, asking me the most amazing questions. You came up with all these questions, so thank you, they were brilliant. And Cam, if people want to also find you, where can they find you? Thanks for joining us. So thank you,

[: 00:48:31

Please do drop me a message. I would love to connect. Thank you so much, Sean.

[: 00:48:46